4 months

AHHHHH!! 4 months old. I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but I mean, how much longer will she just stare straight into my eyes for minutes upon minutes while we rock together? And how much longer will she let me kiss her 3.2 million times a day? And how much longer will I be the one she relies on for pretty much her every need? Not long, folks. 

I know that almost every post contains some form of me complaining about how big she's getting and how fast it's happening; but in all honesty, we are absolutely loving seeing her do new things. I feel like there is a new "first" every day, and I love love love watching her little personality unfold. 

She's a pretty serious little girl - just like her dad in pretty much every way. She does, however, smile frequently and talk a ton. She's still not sleeping all night. I like to think it's just because she misses us too much in the middle of the night. But for real, it's getting really old and I'm getting really tired. The girl can finally roll over! 

We love her a lot. 

Ben had to work on Friday, so Jenson and I stayed behind in Wichita to do some shopping with Sassy and company. It was a great day following a great Thanksgiving with Ben's family. BUT THEN I had to drive home with her by myself. It might have been the worst 3.5 hours of my life. Yes, it took 3.5 hours to get home, because I had to stop 3 times. The poor girl screamed for a long time. I think that in hell they make helpless mothers drive around by themselves with screaming babies in the backseat. It was awful.

Anyways, (btw, my father in law informed me this past week that "anyways" isn't a word) but anyways, my weekend is being redeemed by how great today has been.

First, Jens only woke up one time last night (this is huge for us, people) and then slept until 8:30. My husband got home from the hospital by 9:30, and had Daylight Donuts in tow. We got to sit in front of a fire, holding our napping baby for 2 hours and get caught up on our tv. (I realize this makes us seem really lame.) And now I'm eating a lunch of popcorn and diet coke from the Target snack bar and headed to Henryetta for Thanksgiving Round 2.

Hope your day is great, also!

Thankful, in no particular order

1. My husband, duh.
2. Jenson Kaye Hawley
3. Oreos with milk
4. Namwianga Mission
5. Best parents ever
6. Swaddle Me swaddlers
7. My husband's huge family
8. Q-group
9. Jobs that let me see my baby
10. My brothers and sisters
11. Diet coke
12. Best friends
13. A good pair of jeans
14. Promise of Heaven
15. Baby cuddles
16. Our new mattress
17. Hulu Plus
18. FaceTime
19. Henryetta
20. Disposable diapers

You're welcome for not doing this on Facebook and dominating your newsfeed.

1 year ago today

Exactly one year ago today, some crazy teenage girls were banging on our apartment door at 5am. 5am! They were looking for their friend, who was staying the night with some guys who lived next door to us. They were a little mixed up. Anyways, since we were up, I figured then was as good a time as any to take a pregnancy test. Positive. And after 3 more tests - still positive. We were so happy. I can't believe I've been in love with this little bumblebee for exactly one year.

Yes, this is a picture of a picture. Her very first school picture, as a matter of fact. 

Also, I'm running a half marathon this Sunday; and I'm scared. 

Worry

I am a worrywart. It just comes naturally to me. It's in my genes (thanks Dad). I'm not proud of this trait, and it's something I struggle with. From the second I found out that I was pregnant, I started worrying about this kid. And now that the precious girl is here in the flesh, there's a plethora of things to worry about it.

I find myself worrying about who her friends are going to be, and who she's going to date and someday, marry. I worry that people will be mean to her in school, that they'll pick on her. And then I start worrying that she might be the one picking on people. And then I worry that boys will break her heart. I worry that she won't be brilliant like her father, and that she might struggle with grades. I worry that she won't feel pretty and that she'll have self esteem issues. See, it's just such a vicious cycle.

BUT THEN, I just have to remind myself that she isn't just mine. She's not mine at all, actually. She's His. I have to remind myself, that though it seems impossible, God loves little Jensie Girl more than I could ever think of loving her. He will take care of her. So I guess really, the only thing I should really be worried about, is making sure that she knows Him. That she knows how much He loves her.

Also, I just completely bawled watching the episode of Parenthood where they send Haddie off to college. I've got to get a grip.

3 Months Old!

Things to remember about our sweet 3 month old:

1) She still loves to be swaddled.

2) She's no longer the excellent sleeper that I bragged about. I thought babies were suppose to sleep longer the older they got - not start off sleeping 7 hour stretches and then completely stop. That was a mean trick, Jensie Girl. I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt. 

3) The girl has found her feet! Just today, actually. She's been playing with them nonstop, and it's pretty much the cutest thing. 

4) She does NOT like when Mom drinks coffee. It hurts her belly and ruins her naps. This is extra sad for Mom considering the sudden lack of sleep 

5) She is a homebody. Her dad and I Ohhh and Ahhh about how calm and sweet and good natured she is with is at home and then, BAM. We go out in public, especially in the evenings, and she sometimes likes to throw hissy fits.

6) She giggles. We still have to work really hard to get her to do it, but it absolutely kills me everytime. 

7) She's a major "talker" - especially in the mornings. That's are special time. When Ben has left for work and she's just waking up, I bring her into bed with me and we talk and stretch and giggle for a good 30 minutes. 

8) She still isn't rolling over. She can, she just doesn't want to yet :)

9) I just texted Ben and asked if he had anything that I needed to add to our Things To Remember post and he replied with, "Sweetest baby in the world." That pretty much sums it up. Disclaimer: we are a tad bit biased, and we have had no other babies to compare her to.

Big Week

It's been a big week for Jensie Girl. (We spent last week in Henryetta. Ben had the whole week off, and  it just so happened to be the opening week of deer season. It was so great getting to hang out with my parents for an entire week, and we even saw a Grant sighting.) But anyways, THIS week, was Jenson's first week at Sonshine School.

I know I've said it before, but this job is going to be such a blessing in our lives. I love working in a place where my daughter is two doors down, her teachers take video of her and text message them to me later in the evenings, if they think she's doing something cute they come get me out of my class to come see her, I don't have to miss a single feeding, I get to teach, and the best part: I only have to do it 2 times a week! 

Another first this week in this little 88 day old's life - her first babysitters! 

Emily and Rachel came over on Tuesday night so Ben and I could go eat with our friends, Tyler and Andrea. The poor girls, I think Jens might have screamed for a good chunk of the time that they had her. But they probably lied to make me feel better, and texted me updates that she was doing just fine. So lucky that we have so many cute, reliable cousins floating around this city to watch our baby. 

So excited for this weekend.. Celebrating Chief being around for 60 years! 

Back to Work

Tuesday was my first day of work at Edmond Sonshine School. I knew that I wanted (and financially needed) some kind of part-time gig when I decided to not teach once Jens was born. I get to keep our sweet cousin, Jane, on Mondays and Fridays, and teach pre-school at Edmond on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am so blessed to have found a job where I can still have my baby in the same building. In a couple of weeks Jenson will start going to SS School with me, and will just be right down the hall in the baby room. She's still a little bit too young for now, so my mom and mother-in-law are sharing responsibilities for her for the next couple Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I was just a tad bit sad about leaving her this week, and so my mom said she would send me a picture of her every hour to help ease the pain. I received the following picture texts and captions.

9am Talking to my cats

10am Snoozing

11am Woke up starving and with a big dirty diaper

12pm Sleeping again :)

1pm

2pm Studying with Dad

(of course Ben gets off early on the first day that I have to work)

3pm Finally home with my baby! 

It was a great day. I had already forgotten just how much I love teaching. It's going to be a great year. 

On a totally unrelated note: This week I washed an entire load of laundry without any soap, and I sold our completely perfect, working weed eater at our garage sale for $3.50, thinking that it was the broken one that's been in our garage for 5 months. So now we have one broken weed eater and three dollars and fifty cents. 

Bloopers

Here are a few out takes from Jensie's two-month photo shoot:

 No, we are not serious about that bow.

And some keepers: 

Best two months ever. 

Motherhood is, hands down, just the best thing ever. Jens and I spend our days cooking, cleaning, running errands, babysitting Jane, and making videos to send to her dad while he's at work. I get in major trouble if we go a couple of hours without a picture.

I find myself being in a constant state of anxiety that I'm going to forget something. I want to remember every single little thing about her. I want to remember how her little hand holds my finger when she's nursing, how her long skinny legs are constantly moving, the calmness in her face the instant that we swaddle her, her cute precious perfect booty, and the smell of her sweet milk breath. I wish there was just some way to bottle all of that up and keep it forever.

Things to remember about our sweet 6 week old...

- She has slept in her own bed since Day 1, and is so great at it! We still get a little sad every night when we put her to bed away from us, but we know we'll be glad in the long run.

- She LOVES to be swaddled. The second we wrap her up, she becomes so calm and relaxed.

- Everyone says she looks exactly like her dad.

- She's almost out of her newborn clothes. People's first comment is usually how tiny she is, but she's looking huge to us!

- She is so good at sleeping! Just last night, in fact, she slept 7.5 straight hours. So thankful.

- The last couple of days she has started "talking" a lot and smiling. It completely melts my heart every stinking time.

1 month old!

Ben is really worried that I'm going to turn into one of those moms that post pictures of their children on facebook nonstop. However, people don't have to subject themselves to this blog, so I don't feel one bit bad bombarding it with pictures of my daughter.

Last Thursday, Jenson turned a month old. The past month went by way too fast. I die a little bit inside every time we put something on her and realize she's outgrown it.

 1 day old

1 month old

Also! Kerri AND Ashley are getting married! I cannot even believe how lucky I was to somehow end up with these girls as my best friends. 

A night with the boys..

My mom and I had tickets to see Brad Paisley and The Band Perry for months. I guess it had slipped my mind a little bit that I would have a 4 week old when the time for the concert rolled around. The concert was last Thursday and I left little Jensie Girl for a few hours, in the very capable hands of Dad and Pappy. I had so much fun with my mom, and being away from Bumblebee was made bearable by these picture texts sent from Ben. 

The poor girl had to drink from a bottle!

They let her just walk around without a bow!

Snuggled up, ready for bed, and I'm sure thinking "Where's my Momma?!"

It doesn't seem that any permanent damage was done.  

My best friend moved away...

One of the greatest blessings to come out of marrying Ben (and believe me there are lots of them) was Meag. Now to say it was love at first sight would be a complete lie.  But after living together in a foreign country, we were forced into becoming friends, which resulted into her becoming one of my most favorite people in the entire world. 

Meagan decided to leave the comfort of her family and friends and life in America, to follow God's crazy, radical will for her life. Meag is off to Zambia to be a mother for the motherless... and we're left here - missing her like crazy, but being proud beyond belief. 

Haven on Earth

We had a baby!

3 weeks ago, today, to be exact. There's been way too many important things to do (hence the blog abandonment). Our days have been spent staring at her, feeding her, changing her, kissing her, holding her, but mostly just staring at her. I just can't get enough. I seriously, honestly, just can't wrap my head around the fact that she is ours - that God blessed us with such a sweet and healthy little being.


We just knew she was going to come early. I had been having contractions for weeks. I had been dialated, effaced, blah blah blah, for weeks. The doctor told us she would "be here this week!" Two weeks later, still not here, she was induced on her sweet Aunt Meagan's birthday, July 23rd. Ben and I checked into the hospital around 5am. Pappy, KK, Uncle Grant, Chief, Sassy, and Aunt Meag got there around 9:00. Doc broke my water around 9:30. My hero, I'm not even sure of his name, came and gave me the epidural about 10:00. And Jenson Kaye Hawley arrived at 12:35. She was 6 pounds 15 ounces and 21 inches of perfection. The rest of the day was a blur, with lots of family visiting, and picture taking, and passing around of our little girl.

Ben, Jenson, and I are so incredibly blessed with the abundance of sweet family and friends in our lives. Here are some pictures of Jenson meeting some folks that are bound to be her favorite people in the world.