4 months

AHHHHH!! 4 months old. I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but I mean, how much longer will she just stare straight into my eyes for minutes upon minutes while we rock together? And how much longer will she let me kiss her 3.2 million times a day? And how much longer will I be the one she relies on for pretty much her every need? Not long, folks. 

I know that almost every post contains some form of me complaining about how big she's getting and how fast it's happening; but in all honesty, we are absolutely loving seeing her do new things. I feel like there is a new "first" every day, and I love love love watching her little personality unfold. 

She's a pretty serious little girl - just like her dad in pretty much every way. She does, however, smile frequently and talk a ton. She's still not sleeping all night. I like to think it's just because she misses us too much in the middle of the night. But for real, it's getting really old and I'm getting really tired. The girl can finally roll over! 

We love her a lot. 

Ben had to work on Friday, so Jenson and I stayed behind in Wichita to do some shopping with Sassy and company. It was a great day following a great Thanksgiving with Ben's family. BUT THEN I had to drive home with her by myself. It might have been the worst 3.5 hours of my life. Yes, it took 3.5 hours to get home, because I had to stop 3 times. The poor girl screamed for a long time. I think that in hell they make helpless mothers drive around by themselves with screaming babies in the backseat. It was awful.

Anyways, (btw, my father in law informed me this past week that "anyways" isn't a word) but anyways, my weekend is being redeemed by how great today has been.

First, Jens only woke up one time last night (this is huge for us, people) and then slept until 8:30. My husband got home from the hospital by 9:30, and had Daylight Donuts in tow. We got to sit in front of a fire, holding our napping baby for 2 hours and get caught up on our tv. (I realize this makes us seem really lame.) And now I'm eating a lunch of popcorn and diet coke from the Target snack bar and headed to Henryetta for Thanksgiving Round 2.

Hope your day is great, also!

Thankful, in no particular order

1. My husband, duh.
2. Jenson Kaye Hawley
3. Oreos with milk
4. Namwianga Mission
5. Best parents ever
6. Swaddle Me swaddlers
7. My husband's huge family
8. Q-group
9. Jobs that let me see my baby
10. My brothers and sisters
11. Diet coke
12. Best friends
13. A good pair of jeans
14. Promise of Heaven
15. Baby cuddles
16. Our new mattress
17. Hulu Plus
18. FaceTime
19. Henryetta
20. Disposable diapers

You're welcome for not doing this on Facebook and dominating your newsfeed.

1 year ago today

Exactly one year ago today, some crazy teenage girls were banging on our apartment door at 5am. 5am! They were looking for their friend, who was staying the night with some guys who lived next door to us. They were a little mixed up. Anyways, since we were up, I figured then was as good a time as any to take a pregnancy test. Positive. And after 3 more tests - still positive. We were so happy. I can't believe I've been in love with this little bumblebee for exactly one year.

Yes, this is a picture of a picture. Her very first school picture, as a matter of fact. 

Also, I'm running a half marathon this Sunday; and I'm scared. 

Worry

I am a worrywart. It just comes naturally to me. It's in my genes (thanks Dad). I'm not proud of this trait, and it's something I struggle with. From the second I found out that I was pregnant, I started worrying about this kid. And now that the precious girl is here in the flesh, there's a plethora of things to worry about it.

I find myself worrying about who her friends are going to be, and who she's going to date and someday, marry. I worry that people will be mean to her in school, that they'll pick on her. And then I start worrying that she might be the one picking on people. And then I worry that boys will break her heart. I worry that she won't be brilliant like her father, and that she might struggle with grades. I worry that she won't feel pretty and that she'll have self esteem issues. See, it's just such a vicious cycle.

BUT THEN, I just have to remind myself that she isn't just mine. She's not mine at all, actually. She's His. I have to remind myself, that though it seems impossible, God loves little Jensie Girl more than I could ever think of loving her. He will take care of her. So I guess really, the only thing I should really be worried about, is making sure that she knows Him. That she knows how much He loves her.

Also, I just completely bawled watching the episode of Parenthood where they send Haddie off to college. I've got to get a grip.

3 Months Old!

Things to remember about our sweet 3 month old:

1) She still loves to be swaddled.

2) She's no longer the excellent sleeper that I bragged about. I thought babies were suppose to sleep longer the older they got - not start off sleeping 7 hour stretches and then completely stop. That was a mean trick, Jensie Girl. I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt. 

3) The girl has found her feet! Just today, actually. She's been playing with them nonstop, and it's pretty much the cutest thing. 

4) She does NOT like when Mom drinks coffee. It hurts her belly and ruins her naps. This is extra sad for Mom considering the sudden lack of sleep 

5) She is a homebody. Her dad and I Ohhh and Ahhh about how calm and sweet and good natured she is with is at home and then, BAM. We go out in public, especially in the evenings, and she sometimes likes to throw hissy fits.

6) She giggles. We still have to work really hard to get her to do it, but it absolutely kills me everytime. 

7) She's a major "talker" - especially in the mornings. That's are special time. When Ben has left for work and she's just waking up, I bring her into bed with me and we talk and stretch and giggle for a good 30 minutes. 

8) She still isn't rolling over. She can, she just doesn't want to yet :)

9) I just texted Ben and asked if he had anything that I needed to add to our Things To Remember post and he replied with, "Sweetest baby in the world." That pretty much sums it up. Disclaimer: we are a tad bit biased, and we have had no other babies to compare her to.

Big Week

It's been a big week for Jensie Girl. (We spent last week in Henryetta. Ben had the whole week off, and  it just so happened to be the opening week of deer season. It was so great getting to hang out with my parents for an entire week, and we even saw a Grant sighting.) But anyways, THIS week, was Jenson's first week at Sonshine School.

I know I've said it before, but this job is going to be such a blessing in our lives. I love working in a place where my daughter is two doors down, her teachers take video of her and text message them to me later in the evenings, if they think she's doing something cute they come get me out of my class to come see her, I don't have to miss a single feeding, I get to teach, and the best part: I only have to do it 2 times a week! 

Another first this week in this little 88 day old's life - her first babysitters! 

Emily and Rachel came over on Tuesday night so Ben and I could go eat with our friends, Tyler and Andrea. The poor girls, I think Jens might have screamed for a good chunk of the time that they had her. But they probably lied to make me feel better, and texted me updates that she was doing just fine. So lucky that we have so many cute, reliable cousins floating around this city to watch our baby. 

So excited for this weekend.. Celebrating Chief being around for 60 years!