Worry

I am a worrywart. It just comes naturally to me. It's in my genes (thanks Dad). I'm not proud of this trait, and it's something I struggle with. From the second I found out that I was pregnant, I started worrying about this kid. And now that the precious girl is here in the flesh, there's a plethora of things to worry about it.

I find myself worrying about who her friends are going to be, and who she's going to date and someday, marry. I worry that people will be mean to her in school, that they'll pick on her. And then I start worrying that she might be the one picking on people. And then I worry that boys will break her heart. I worry that she won't be brilliant like her father, and that she might struggle with grades. I worry that she won't feel pretty and that she'll have self esteem issues. See, it's just such a vicious cycle.

BUT THEN, I just have to remind myself that she isn't just mine. She's not mine at all, actually. She's His. I have to remind myself, that though it seems impossible, God loves little Jensie Girl more than I could ever think of loving her. He will take care of her. So I guess really, the only thing I should really be worried about, is making sure that she knows Him. That she knows how much He loves her.

Also, I just completely bawled watching the episode of Parenthood where they send Haddie off to college. I've got to get a grip.

3 Months Old!

Things to remember about our sweet 3 month old:

1) She still loves to be swaddled.

2) She's no longer the excellent sleeper that I bragged about. I thought babies were suppose to sleep longer the older they got - not start off sleeping 7 hour stretches and then completely stop. That was a mean trick, Jensie Girl. I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt. 

3) The girl has found her feet! Just today, actually. She's been playing with them nonstop, and it's pretty much the cutest thing. 

4) She does NOT like when Mom drinks coffee. It hurts her belly and ruins her naps. This is extra sad for Mom considering the sudden lack of sleep 

5) She is a homebody. Her dad and I Ohhh and Ahhh about how calm and sweet and good natured she is with is at home and then, BAM. We go out in public, especially in the evenings, and she sometimes likes to throw hissy fits.

6) She giggles. We still have to work really hard to get her to do it, but it absolutely kills me everytime. 

7) She's a major "talker" - especially in the mornings. That's are special time. When Ben has left for work and she's just waking up, I bring her into bed with me and we talk and stretch and giggle for a good 30 minutes. 

8) She still isn't rolling over. She can, she just doesn't want to yet :)

9) I just texted Ben and asked if he had anything that I needed to add to our Things To Remember post and he replied with, "Sweetest baby in the world." That pretty much sums it up. Disclaimer: we are a tad bit biased, and we have had no other babies to compare her to.

Big Week

It's been a big week for Jensie Girl. (We spent last week in Henryetta. Ben had the whole week off, and  it just so happened to be the opening week of deer season. It was so great getting to hang out with my parents for an entire week, and we even saw a Grant sighting.) But anyways, THIS week, was Jenson's first week at Sonshine School.

I know I've said it before, but this job is going to be such a blessing in our lives. I love working in a place where my daughter is two doors down, her teachers take video of her and text message them to me later in the evenings, if they think she's doing something cute they come get me out of my class to come see her, I don't have to miss a single feeding, I get to teach, and the best part: I only have to do it 2 times a week! 

Another first this week in this little 88 day old's life - her first babysitters! 

Emily and Rachel came over on Tuesday night so Ben and I could go eat with our friends, Tyler and Andrea. The poor girls, I think Jens might have screamed for a good chunk of the time that they had her. But they probably lied to make me feel better, and texted me updates that she was doing just fine. So lucky that we have so many cute, reliable cousins floating around this city to watch our baby. 

So excited for this weekend.. Celebrating Chief being around for 60 years! 

Back to Work

Tuesday was my first day of work at Edmond Sonshine School. I knew that I wanted (and financially needed) some kind of part-time gig when I decided to not teach once Jens was born. I get to keep our sweet cousin, Jane, on Mondays and Fridays, and teach pre-school at Edmond on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am so blessed to have found a job where I can still have my baby in the same building. In a couple of weeks Jenson will start going to SS School with me, and will just be right down the hall in the baby room. She's still a little bit too young for now, so my mom and mother-in-law are sharing responsibilities for her for the next couple Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I was just a tad bit sad about leaving her this week, and so my mom said she would send me a picture of her every hour to help ease the pain. I received the following picture texts and captions.

9am Talking to my cats

10am Snoozing

11am Woke up starving and with a big dirty diaper

12pm Sleeping again :)

1pm

2pm Studying with Dad

(of course Ben gets off early on the first day that I have to work)

3pm Finally home with my baby! 

It was a great day. I had already forgotten just how much I love teaching. It's going to be a great year. 

On a totally unrelated note: This week I washed an entire load of laundry without any soap, and I sold our completely perfect, working weed eater at our garage sale for $3.50, thinking that it was the broken one that's been in our garage for 5 months. So now we have one broken weed eater and three dollars and fifty cents. 

Bloopers

Here are a few out takes from Jensie's two-month photo shoot:

 No, we are not serious about that bow.

And some keepers: 

Best two months ever. 

Motherhood is, hands down, just the best thing ever. Jens and I spend our days cooking, cleaning, running errands, babysitting Jane, and making videos to send to her dad while he's at work. I get in major trouble if we go a couple of hours without a picture.

I find myself being in a constant state of anxiety that I'm going to forget something. I want to remember every single little thing about her. I want to remember how her little hand holds my finger when she's nursing, how her long skinny legs are constantly moving, the calmness in her face the instant that we swaddle her, her cute precious perfect booty, and the smell of her sweet milk breath. I wish there was just some way to bottle all of that up and keep it forever.

Things to remember about our sweet 6 week old...

- She has slept in her own bed since Day 1, and is so great at it! We still get a little sad every night when we put her to bed away from us, but we know we'll be glad in the long run.

- She LOVES to be swaddled. The second we wrap her up, she becomes so calm and relaxed.

- Everyone says she looks exactly like her dad.

- She's almost out of her newborn clothes. People's first comment is usually how tiny she is, but she's looking huge to us!

- She is so good at sleeping! Just last night, in fact, she slept 7.5 straight hours. So thankful.

- The last couple of days she has started "talking" a lot and smiling. It completely melts my heart every stinking time.